Tips to Living Successfully with the Skylanders!
by BP-504Skylar
Summary: So… I've noticed a lot of Skyfanders have gotten themselves wound up in Skylands, right? I must admit, I myself have a few times too, SO I decided, why not put together some tips to help us stay alive? Well… Here goes nothing!
1. Earth

**Tip #1 – Don't remind Bash that he can't fly.  
**Consequence = Spiky tail to the face… or another body part…  
Solution = Talk to him about rocks instead.

**Tip #2 – Never tick off Crusher.  
**Consequence = You may find yourself running for a while… with no luck…  
Solution = Try to keep a positive tone when talking to him.

**Tip #3 – Dino-Rang is NOT a dragon! So don't call him one…  
**Consequence = He'll probably throw a boomerang at your head… *ducks*  
Solution = Remember his name is 'Dino'-Rang… Name says all.

**Tip #4 – Remind yourself that Doom Stone's shield has the face of Medusa on it.  
**Consequence = Turned to stone  
Solution = Demand he cover it with a blanket

**Tip #5 – Flashwing literally can blind you!  
**Consequence = Permanent blinding… kinda…  
Solution = Don't make her mad

**Tip #6 – Keep off the topic of Prism Break's hands.  
**Consequence = Raining rocks or impaled by a crystal beam  
Solution = Comment on how shiny his crystals are today

**Tip #7 – Don't think about questioning Rubble Rouser.  
**Consequence = Being dragged underground  
Solution = Just, don't talk to him…

**Tip #8 – Stay clear of Scorp when he's mad!  
**Consequence = ANGRY SCORPION!  
Solution = RUN AWAY!

**Tip #9 – Proceed to keep Slobber Tooth away from personal items.  
**Consequence = Missing stuffs, slobber everywhere…  
Solution = Put things in high-to-reach places…

**Tip #10 – Don't put Terrafin in water.  
**Consequence = He'll possibly drown and you'll get hurt  
Solution = Never take Terrafin to the beach… or at least keep him away from the water…

* * *

**Hmm, I'm pretty sure the Earth Skylanders have lost all faith in me as their Portal Master, except maybe Crusher cause he saved me from Terrafin, but-…**

**C: Hm? What makes you say that, Cloud?**

**… *nervously looks up* F-Forgiveness?**

**C: … Yeah, I'll keep that in mind…**

***gulps* A-Anyway, Fire Skylanders are up next! And let's see how many times I've gotten burned!**

**AND ANOTHER THING! This is supposed to comical; it's not related to how the Skylanders would really react, so... basically it's my interpretation of things, I guess... let's continue...**


	2. Fire

**Tip #11 – Blast Zone is not an oven.  
**Consequence = You'll get burned!  
Solution = Go home and use your own oven

**Tip #12 - … Just stay away from Eruptor…  
**Consequence = Lava barf everywhere… increasing temperature…  
Solution = Stay well back when he barfs!

**Tip #13 – Don't ask Fire Kraken to 'do the dragon' in high winds.  
**Consequence = Someone could catch fire…  
Solution = Make sure it's not windy… or don't ask him at all.

**Tip #14 – Never taunt Flameslinger about his archery skills!  
**Consequence = Arrow to the knee! *shot*  
Solution = Tell him the obvious things like the sun is on fire and leave him be…

**Tip #15 - … Fryno is scary…  
**Consequence = … everything…  
Solution = If you feel scared, run away immediately.

**Tip #16 – Remind yourself that Hot Dog's made of lava…  
**Consequence = Burning  
Solution = Don't pet the puppy

**Tip #17 – Hot Head's not all that he seems.  
**Consequence = Various  
Solution = Maybe best not to question him…

**Tip #18 – Ignitor is not an oven either!  
**Consequence = More burning!  
Solution = … see 'Blast Zone'…

**Tip #19 – Smolderdash is female.  
**Consequence = Angry Smolderdash…  
Solution = Ask the other Fire Skylanders first before you make a guess… I made that mistake, okay!?

**Tip #20 – Leave Sunburn alone while he's sleeping…  
**Consequence = Nothing for you!  
Solution = Leave him alone… nice and simple…

* * *

***counting* Four… Five… Six… Huh, only got burned seven times… Welp, I guess that's okay…**

**HH: Why do you do this to yourself, Cloud?**

**I face the pain so other Skyfanders don't have to, Hot Head; it's logical.**

**HH: But I don't like seeing the others hurt you…**

***sighs* It's okay, Hot Head… I can handle it… Anyway, Air Skylanders up next! And by the way, I don't own Skylanders either! ^^**

**Reminder - This is for comical purposes. Feel free to refer to at your own risk ._.**


	3. Air

***enters* SKYFANDER101 HAS RETURNED! Hi, so that's my new Pen Name, yeah? Just so yous know…  
Um, anyway on with our tips! I don't own Skylanders or anything to do with them! If I did, there'd be more Skylandery randomness like this! ^^**

* * *

**Tip #21 – When Boom Jet says 'Don't touch', DON'T TOUCH!  
**Consequence = Stuff will most likely break  
Solution = Stay out of the SWAP HQ when alone

**Tip #22 – Don't eat chicken in front of Storm Chicken.  
**Consequence = Tornadoes ._.  
Solution = Be nice to Free Ranger and eat your chicken somewhere else

**Tip #23 – Don't mess about with Jet-Vac's turbo-gun.  
**Consequence = Suspicious Sky Baron  
Solution = Next time, don't use the high-setting on the vacuum and suck up the 'dirt' in the kitchen… and your siblings… I'M KIDDING! DX

**Tip #24 – Lightning Rod is not related to Zeus.  
**Consequence = N/A  
Solution = Teach him the ways of the Greek Gods

**Tip #25 – Pop Thorn actually hurts.  
**Consequence = Spikes  
Solution = Keep the guy happy and you'll be fine!

**Tip #26 – Remember Scratch is armed.  
**Consequence = Bad kitty!  
Solution = … don't ask why she has wings…

**Tip #27 – Sonic Boom is very protective.  
**Consequence = Regular acts of saving you  
Solution = Tell her the Giants did it and see what happens

**Tip #28 – Swarm cannot make honey.  
**Consequence = N/A  
Solution = Give him a jar of honey, then run around screaming "BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ! HONEY BEE! HONEY BEE!"

**Tip #29 – Warnado is not a ninja turtle!  
**Consequence = Confusion  
Solution = Sit him down and make him watch TMNT and explain their resemblance

**Tip #30 – Come to love Whirlwind.  
**Consequence = Rainbows!  
Solution = Keep the hybrid happy and reward her with cloud cookies

* * *

**Welp, there's the Air Skylanders…**

**S: … You still wish I was a honey bee, don't you…**

**Mm-hmm… *whimpers* Techies are next… I still don't own Skylanders…**


	4. Tech

**Tip #31 – Run away when Boomer comes in your general direction!  
**Consequence = BOOM!  
Solution = RUN AWAY! … AGAIN!

**Tip #32 – Don't ask Bouncer to play Robo-ball with you.  
**Consequence = Squished/flat human  
Solution = Don't play with him

**Tip #33 – Music makes Countdown happy.  
**Consequence = No explosions  
Solution = Play good music… but not 'The Final Countdown'…

**Tip #34 – Do not ask Drill Sergeant to dig holes for you.  
**Consequence = Bottomless pits  
Solution = Go play in the sandpit!

**Tip #35 – No sneaking up on Drobot.  
**Consequence = LASERS!  
Solution = Call out to him before your run over. Also, make sure he heard you…

**Tip #36 – Make sure you're wearing nothing metal around Magna Charge.  
**Consequence = Magnetised…  
Solution = Remove all metal materials before entering the Tech Common Room

**Tip #37 – Sprocket wields a wrench for a reason!  
**Consequence = Unconsciousness  
Solution = No more offers to help her with stuff

**Tip #38 – Spy Rise is not actually a spider.  
**Consequence = I don't think there is any, but you may find gears in your cereal for a week if you call him one.  
Solution = Attempt to ask him if he'll take you on a mission

**Tip #39 – No pranks involving Trigger Happy!  
**Consequence = Disaster  
Solution = Play board games with Trigg instead

**Tip #40 – Leave Wind-Up's key alone!  
**Consequence = Broken toy  
Solution = Only ask the other Tech Skylanders to wind him back up

* * *

**Techies no love me anymore… I think…**

**B: You think?**

**Prediction! ^^**

**B: Right…**

**Anyways! Life Skylanders next! ^^**


	5. Life

**So… For some reason, my Microsoft Word shifted everything and I lost all the SWAP Force Tips I had put in…  
I managed to locate them in another word document but now they have to go at the end of these chapters (after my surprise) for the remaining elements – Life, Undead, Water and Magic… **

**Idk why; stuff happens…  
Enjoy my tips for the Life Skylanders! … minus the SWAP Force…**

* * *

**Tip #41 – No stealy Bumble Blast's honey.  
**Consequence = BEES!  
Solution = Ask before you take

**Tip #42 – Don't tempt Camo with watermelon.  
**Consequence = GWOMP ATTACK!  
Solution = Set the watermelon in front of you and then be prepared to run…

**Tip #43 – Do NOT eat pizza around Shroomboom!  
**Consequence = Missing mushroom  
Solution = Order pasta instead

**Tip #44 – No hide-and-seek with Stealth Elf.  
**Consequence = Losing consistently  
Solution = Play cards

**Tip #45 – Water Stump Smash.  
**Consequence = Healing  
Solution = Carry a bucket around with you when you notice he looks dehydrated or weak

**Tip #46 – Talk to Tree Rex… I advise it :D  
**Consequence = N/A  
Solution = Talk, talk and talk! Just don't say anything about deforestation…

**Tip #47 – Don't call Zoo Lou crazy cause he talks to animals.  
**Consequence = Charging animals  
Solution = Suggest to him the job of working at a zoo

**Tip #48 – Don't try and man Zook's bazooka on your own.  
**Consequence = Angry Skylanders  
Solution = Look for the other Life Skylanders OR if there's no one around, leave it alone!

* * *

**Heh, that was fun…**

**TR: Am I really that easy to talk to?**

**You're a giant tree *glomps his leg* Of course you're easy to talk to! ^^ Besides, you give great advice too.**

**TR: Well then, I guess I do ^^**

**Heheh, next up is Water!**


	6. Water

**Like I said last chapter, SWAP Force is lost and they won't be seen till last chapter….  
Blame my computer…**

* * *

**Tip #49 – Be nice to Chill.  
**Consequence = NARWHAL!  
Solution = Interest her in ice cream and things should evolve from there

**Tip #50 – No sushi around Gill Grunt.  
**Consequence = Screaming fish… and maybe a harpoon or two to the head…  
Solution = Go for some chips instead

**Tip #51 – Stand clear of Punk Shock's tail.  
**Consequence = Shocked  
Solution = Approach her from the front, not behind

**Tip #52 – Do not make Rip Tide angry!  
**Consequence = GIANT WHALE!  
Solution = Reason with him then run if that doesn't work

**Tip #53 – Call Slam Bam 'Surfer Dude' and expect consequences.  
**Consequence = Frozen  
Solution = Think of other nicknames that won't offend him

**Tip #54 – Drench Thumpback in water regularly.  
**Consequence = Happy whale ^^  
Solution = Again, carry around a bucket of water… No wait, you might need a bathtub for this one…

**Tip #55 – Wham-Shell is a crab.  
**Consequence = N/A  
Solution = Scuttle backwards and forwards muttering 'clickety-clickety-click'. It'll make him happy

**Tip #56 – Zap can control lightning.  
**Consequence = Again, shocked  
Solution = Don't play splash with him…

* * *

**Huh… Well that's Water done. I need food…**

**T: Don't even think about it, Sky…**

**I-I wasn't going to! ^^; U-Um, next is… *gulps* U-Undead…**


	7. Undead

**A/N: … Need I remind you again?**

**Tip #57 – Do not refer to Chop Chop as the 'walking skeleton-guy'.  
**Consequence = Bones  
Solution = Learn his name before you talk to someone else about him

**Tip #58 – Cynder is still a dark dragon, remember?  
**Consequence = She gets angry easily  
Solution = Keep her happy

**Tip #59 – Don't scream in front of Eye-Brawl.  
**Consequence = A certain someone will get annoyed…  
Solution = Hold in the scream as best you can. If not… go scream into a pillow away from him

**Tip #60 – Never call Rider 'Elfy' if you're mad at him… and call Fright an ostrich if you value your life…  
**Consequence = Look out, you'll get skewered!  
Solution = Call him Oggy instead… and claim Fright's a bird and leave it at that

**Tip #61 – If Ghost Roaster invites you for dinner, don't run away!  
**Consequence = Happy Ghostie  
Solution = Go along with whatever he offers you… if you value your life! *laughs evilly* … *stops* ahem…

**Tip #62 – Be sneaky with Grim Creeper.  
**Consequence = Annoyed Undead Skylanders  
Solution = Suggest all your pranks to the reaper and see what he comes up with, then have fun!

**Tip #63 – Leave Hex alone.  
**Consequence = Various; depending on what you do to annoy her  
Solution = Exactly what the tip says…

**Tip #64 – Roller Brawl is a vampire and she's twice as fast as you.  
**Consequence = Slowly losing blood  
Solution = Don't get the girl mad and… if you're already bleeding, stay well away!

* * *

***shuddering* The Undead scare me… but I had some fun with them…**

**EB: You still scream when you see me?**

***runs off screaming***

**EB: -_-**

**M-MAGIC IS NEXT! DX**


	8. Magic

**… Disclaimer thingy ****-**** I do not own Skylanders… If I did, the SWAP Force would literally be missing…**

**Tip #65 – Double Trouble is literally trouble!  
**Consequence = Various  
Solution = No planning things with DT…

**Tip #66 – Don't call Dune Bug 'tiny'… or kneel down when you're talking to him either…  
**Consequence = Staff to the head or other body parts, leading to pain…  
Solution = Stay at your height and watch your wording

**Tip #67 – Ninjini will not grant you wishes if you rub her bottle.  
**Consequence = Blank looks or ignorance  
Solution = Ask her face-to-face and… keep your hands off the bottle!

**Tip #68 – If Pop Fizz is coming… RUN AWAY!  
**Consequence = CHEMICAL REACTION!  
Solution = LIKE I SAID, RUN AWAY!

**Tip #69 – Keep Spyro happy and you'll be fine.  
**Consequence = Grumpy dragon  
Solution = Tell him how awesome he is and stroke his wings. It'll keep him very happy if you do both at the same time…

**Tip #70 – No attempting to remove Star Strike's hood.  
**Consequence = She'll likely punch you in the face  
Solution = Instead of pestering her with questions like 'What do you look like?' and 'Do you have hair?', ask the girl if she'll braid/brush your own. Maybe then she'll show you. If you're a guy, well…

**Tip #71 – Don't question Voodood; whatever you do!  
**Consequence = Confusion  
Solution = He's a confusing guy, you know… If you want to find something out, ask another Magic Skylander.

**Tip #72 – Make sure Wrecking Ball ceases to lick you.  
**Consequence = Licked to death  
Solution = Grab the closest thing to food near you and throw it in a ransom direction. Once he's run after it, RUN AWAY!

* * *

**MAGIC! *throws hands up in air and makes jazz-fingers* That was fun! ^^**

**N: Are you always like this?**

**No… I'm just enjoying myself because I can.**

**N: Oh okay… Sky, who's next?**

**Oh right! Earth is! *gets 'call' in ear-piece* Wait… I've already done Earth!? What do you mean I've-… Oh… okay… Yeah, I see… Wait, I know! Surprise next chapter! *runs off giggling***


	9. TRAP TEAM!

**I DO NOT OWN TRAP TEAM EITHER! Like the Swappers, they'd be missing also :3  
BTWs, these Trappies are the ones I've heard so far. If any others, do tell and I'll add an extra chapter :) **

**Tip #73 – Chopper is a flying dinosaur… Nuff said…  
**Consequence = N/A  
Solution = Go flying with him to keep him happy

**Tip #74 – Like other Earth Skylanders, do not attempt to annoy Wallop!  
**Consequence = … squish…  
Solution = Ask him to help you annoy someone else

**Tip #75 – Don't presume all Trap Masters are guys… Torch is female…  
**Consequence = Burned  
Solution = Like I said, we've all made that mistake on presuming one set would be all one gender, right? ^^; T-The SWAP Force are all guys!

**Tip #76 – Never take Wildfire camping.  
**Consequence = Take a guess…  
Solution = Hire a campervan... oh wait...

**Tip #77 – Don't suggest swimming to Gearshift.  
**Consequence = Sparks, broken, no-longer-working…  
Solution = She's a robot; ask if she's up for chess instead

**Tip #78 – Yell 'FOOD FIGHT' around Food Fight and watch his reaction.  
**Consequence = Food Fight  
Solution = … Do it; I dare ya!

**Tip #79 – Give High Five high-fives… and exclaim 'High five!' before you do it.  
**Consequence = Blank stare from a certain dragonfly hybrid…  
Solution = Wave giddily instead X3

**Tip #80 – Take photos of Snap Shot, screaming 'SNAP, SNAP'!  
**Consequence = … *facepalms*  
Solution = Ask if you can take a picture, then don't take it and walk around, clapping your arms together like a crocodile :D

**Tip #81 – Call Bat Spin 'Batty'.  
**Consequence = BAT ATTACK!  
Solution = Be nice and don't call her names… Like all responsible people would.

**Tip #82 – Bury Funny Bone.  
**Consequence = Lost Dog  
Solution = Play 'fetch'… with Chop Chop's femur X3

**Tip #83 – Scream 'IT'S ALIVE!' whenever Krypt King wakes up.  
**Consequence = Whatever-his-weapon-is to the head… idk, I need more info on him…  
Solution = Keep quiet when ANY Undead Skylander wakes up…

* * *

**XD You can't have fun without the Trap Masters in the mix!  
I had to include them because TRAP TEAM's coming this October and everyone's getting' so EXCITED for it! And… we're all gonna lose our money real quick again but ANYWAY! **

**Next chapter! **

**….. Honey, I shrunk the SWAP Force… O.o  
Nahh, I didn't really… I don't think you'd be able to shrink them anymore in their toy-forms, but-…. That gives me an idea for another story! *giddily runs off***


	10. SWAP Force!

**The ones that happened to go missing from previous chapters…**  
**Included here! :D**

**Tip #84 – Question Grilla Drilla**  
Consequence = Answers  
Solution = Ask him whatever you like; this gorilla's willing to answer!

**Tip #85 – Don't sneak up on Stink Bomb**  
Consequence = Tomato paste and… smelling like skunk for a few hours…  
Solution = Let him do the sneaking… Leave the ninja-ry stuff to the pros!

**Tip #86 – No boasting to Freeze Blade that you're better than him!**  
Consequence = He'll ask you to prove it  
Solution = Talk about ice and snow-related things instead… Go ice skating with him if that bores you.

**Tip #87 – Talk like a pirate around Wash Buckler**  
Consequence = … The others will probably get annoyed…  
Solution = Make sure he's always around to defend you when you do

**Tip #88 – Leave the boxing ring at home when Night Shift's around**  
Consequence = … Mess…  
Solution = Hide anything that chimes when you hit it

**Tip #89 – Rattle Shake will pummel you if you call him Rattle 'Snake'.**  
Consequence = Venom slowly killing you from the inside… I guess…  
Solution = Go for the nickname 'Rattle' and leave it at that. Wait…

**Tip #90 – Take away Hoot Loop's teleportation ring and see what happens**  
Consequence = Confuzzled owl  
Solution = Replace his ring with something else until you decide to give it back

**Tip #91 – Trap Shadow is a sneaky one too…**  
Consequence = Caught in a trap  
Solution = Be cautious of EVERYTHING in sight! You never know what could happen to you!

* * *

**So, most of those were totally different to what I originally had, but hey; that's life…**  
**Now I think the Swap Force don't trust me…**

**SF: Ya think!?**

**Oh, get out of here! *pushes them all out of room; shuts door* Anyway, that's it from me and the Skylanders, readers! I hope you all know how to stay alive now! Awesome! ^^**  
**Bye!**


End file.
